I woke up 5 minutes before our alarm went off. I sat there at almost two in the morning thinking about waking up Julie, which is like slap-boxing an angry barracuda. Real shitburger supreme. Je plesant, mon amor.

Then we walked around Americanly looking for the free bikes. After like four hours, we figured out how to get the bikes and then we looked sweet pedaling around the city. We got to this weird English bar full of Nazis and I had a ham sandwich. Every time Palin remained upright and didn’t drool too much, all the McCain supporters went absolutely bizonkers. But I just enjoyed my awesome ham.

Then Biden ruled the fucking school while Palin got a new pillow to cry into. Clearly, sidekicking for John McCain would suck balls. Then this total Nazi blonde blazer-wearing gentleman told me that the real reason we had to bailout Wall Street is because of Clinton signing some 1993 bill letting Blacks, Gays and Women do stuff.

It was pretty sweet. During our bike ride home at 6am, Julie and I stole a giant French movie poster and celebrated our Vice Presidential candidate not being stupid.

Hey! Watch Brad Neely’s Bible History and others!


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