Why have a dog when you do all your own WOOFing?

My other titles: ‘Too many WOOFchefs in the WOOFkitchen’ and ‘Too many WOOFs and not enough Corsicans’ just weren’t that catchy.

Yesterday was great. Felipe and Jean-Mathieu let me catch a couple of the pigs that needed to be mooved into the nurseries. This entailed creeping up behind the pig, grabbing her front leg and quickly tying a rope around the leg. Needless to say (though I’ll say it anyway because I am verbose) there is a lot of thrashing involved. In the struggle, one fell down, taking me with her, and we were both covered in shit pudding.

Today was not as great, work-wise. We built a three meter fence. We built a three meter fence and it took three hours. I’m pretty sure an armless man would have given us a run for our money today. No matter where you go in the world: six people building a fence is two people building a fence and four people watching. And I got stabbed in the ass by a rusty nail when I jumped out of one of the nurseries. Shit pudding, indeed, dear reader.

Ok, enough complaining. Here are the things I meant to mention this week but failed to do:

  • It rained too much yesterday for us to work so I sat inside drawing pictures with the kids. They asked me something like forty thousand questions in a language I barely understand. I drew a giant dolphin flying into a giant bear with regular houses below them. And a turtle aligator.
  • Paul and I went to Cortè to get boots and he told me about a dream he had. It went generally like this: ‘I fight three men. They bad men. Gangsters. They want to smash my face, but they don’t know I can break their face. One is Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise? Tom Cruise. But I know I’m not really fighting them. I’m fighting something in me.’
  • I swam in a 50 degree mountain river. SO COLD.
  • I cinged my hair and eyelashes setting a brush fire.
  • I told a super awkward joke that no one got. At Paul’s house, Julie was talking about how at Christmas time at Spaggio they would play Christmas music and get more tips. I said, ‘Oh, at Murky we didn’t play Christmas music but I would get bigger tips by going shirtless and wearing a Santa hat. “Would you like a latte ma’am, because I work out a latte!’ No one laughed and everyone at the table shuffled awkwardly while I continued my faux muscle flexing.
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One Response to “Why have a dog when you do all your own WOOFing?”

  1. Bloggerrg Says:

    Zack! Glad to hear you are making friends in the Corsican Alps. I loved the dream about the gangsters – they must have a lot of those over there! Columbus is the site of Gameday and its raining so Lee Corso’s hair will be curly, and Kirk will be Kirk – they start talking at 10 am and I wonder what they do until 8 pm when the game starts? Wrestle pigs perhaps!?! Hope all is well – we enjoy the updates. Let us know when you are arriving back in the pigless port of Columbus! Cheers and, do they have beers over there?!

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